Uncanny Love -a Chef Boyardee fanfiction
by Palmertech
Summary: Gerald is a lonely man with nothing to live for. His life would be forever changed once he meets the glorious Chef Boyardee.


''Twas a gloomy night and for that reason I could barely muster the strength to fall asleep. I felt alone in this world. A twenty-nine year old man living alone in a run down apartment was not what I had envisioned for myself many years ago, but there I was. A pathetic loser wallowing in his own self pity, without a single shred of hope for a future with meaning. A single tear cascaded down my cheek, glistening in the moonlight shining from my curtainless window.

As I curdled up on my mattress in despair a voice echoed through my mind. "Gerald". "What was that"? I thought to myself. "Gerald" the voiced flickered inside once more, calling my name. "Who's there"" I asked aloud. I received no response. I looked around my bedroom, my eyes desperate to find the source of the voice. I saw nothing. "Come to me Gerald." The voice came from my head, but yet I could feel that the source was elsewhere. "Where are you?" My voice quivered in delusional wariness. "The kitchen my child, I am to be found in the kitchen."

To the kitchen I went, my feet dragging behind. My mind was telling me no, but my body was speaking a different story. I couldn't control myself, the mysterious voice had me under its alluring spell. I was its prisoner. I shambled to the kitchen and froze in disbelief and awe at what my eyes saw before them. A giant can of Chef Boyardee with spaghetti and meatballs floated before me. It was magnificent, the glory of the shining can illuminated my very essence, transforming my soul. The can of spaghetti was twice as tall as I, and was about as wide as I am tall. The picture of the chef on my master's face winked at me. "Come hither my child and be alone no longer, for I will embrace you."

My face burned with passion for this deity before me. I have always yearned to be loved by someone, anyone, and now my greatest wish had become reality. I felt a pulling sensation, entangling us in a world of sublime bliss. I moved forward and embraced Chef Boyardee is loving affection. His hard surface was warm and soothing to touch. My face blushed as I leaned my head forward towards his magnificence, but hesitated for I was unsure if what I was doing was right. "Hesitate not my child, let your love flow through you."

A single tear ran down my face. It was one of both overwhelming joy and of shamed guilt. While it pleased me to no end for the Can to accept my advances, I felt disgusted with myself for not realizing that earlier. I wiped my face, cleansing it of the streak left behind from my tear. I closed my eyes as I pressed my lips against my eternal love. My cheeks burned with absolute passion as I shared this sacred kiss with the Can. I released my lips from His surface, saliva dripping from my mouth. My tongue reached down to where we shared our passion, desperate to collect the fluids left behind.

This was the closest thing to heaven as one could ever hope to reach without passing on to the afterlife, but yet I yearned for more. My passion turned into an almost primal lust. The Canned Goodness could feel the change inside my heart and grinned. "I can see you're hungry for more Gerald my dear. Let me sate that appetite of yours." The Great One beamed with endearing glory as his lid opened up. "Come inside me my love." I could feel my heart skip a beat. This was what one could only dream of experiencing, but here I am, about to engage in luxurious pleasure unlike anything the world has ever known.

As I moved forward to great my destiny, I was halted by my master's voice. "Before you enter, remove those silly garments of yours. Where your going clothes would only get in the way." And so I had done what Chef Boyardee had instructed of me, revealing my nude body. I tried to cover my penis with my hands in embarrassment. The Can chuckled and shook his head. "There's no need to be nervous my child, it matters to me not what size your penis is. The only size that matters here is the size of your love for me, so come to me Gerald!" After speaking those words of encouragement, long strands of spaghetti reached out from my lover's opening, gently lifting me up. I peered down into the mass of sauce and pasta before me, taken aback by its glorious holiness. The pure divinity of His Sauciness overwhelmed my very being.

The strong noodles of God himself plopped me inside his red ichor. It was soothing to touch, its warmth engulfed me like a nice blanket on a cool night. The sauce covered me entirely until all that remained was my head. "So tell me, my child, how does it feel to be inside me?" my face burned with uncontrollable passion for this being."My mind knows no words that could possible describe the euphoria in my heart for you, master Boyardee." The Canned Goodness rumbled with a deep chuckle. "Gerald, you may not know what to say, but i will always know what is in your heart. come, let us indulge in our passion in solidarity."

His long strands of love caressed my shaft. Tingling of pleasure enshrouded my virgin cock. Never before had anyone else touched my special place before. Tears ran down my face. Pure ecstasy filled my essence. Chef Boyardee started to stroke my rod with his soft long strands of holiness. My body tingled with acute pleasure. Drops of pre-cum seeped out of my erection. "Mmm." The Great Can spoke, enveloped in the delicacy of my pre-ejaculatory substance. "Gerald my dear," his Magnificence boomed soothingly, "your semen is quite delectable. What you have given to me is a true testament to your passion towards me."

My face burned with pride. Never before has anyone given me so much confidence in myself, this newfound love being poured out by The Can has created new meaning for my existence. His noodles of love stroked my meat more vigorously. With each pump, I could feel myself getting even more lost in euphoria. All of a sudden the tingling intensified and my mind went blank as I released my seed into the stew of meat, noodles, and sauce. My eyes rolled back from the intensity of my orgasm. I could see my white, life creating fluids rise to the top of the sauce.

"You add quite the exquisite flavor to my broth child, but I need more from you." My heart raced with excitement. To be needed by anyone was a magical experience, but for a divine entity such as this, mere words could never begin to explain away the euphoria. "Take away anything you desire, oh Mighty Can!" Long strands engulfed my penis. The slightest touch given by the spaghetti felt incredible, but i knew not why. It was as if the mere touch of the Master Chef was enough to cause me to orgasm. "I'm sure you figured it out by now, but everything in this body of mine is coated with a moderately powerful aphrodisiac. The slightest touch will cause you to come closer to climaxing. Also it acts as an unearthly stamina enhancer, one that could never be rivaled by anything in this plane of existence. Consider it my gift to you Gerald."

With this newfound knowledge of the love given by Chef Boyardee invigorated my soul, my place was by his side. Noodles of pleasure writhe about. "Prepare yourself Gerald" the can whispered into my ear. I knew not what to prepare for, but i braced myself nonetheless. Suddenly a particularly this strand of pasta shot up my ass. The sheer pleasure caused me to ejaculate immediately. "More" i groaned to my master. The thick rod started pumping in and out of my anal cavity. With each inward thrust I expeled my sead. Over and over a nut I had busted. If it wasn't for the fact that I was floating in a sea of pasta sauce, I would be, no doubt, on my hands and knees taking it all in like the bitch I am.

All of this still wasn't enough for me though, I still crave it was the aphrodisiac, but it could also be my own unfiltered desire. Perhasires, or a combination of the two. Whatever the reasoning for my selfish need for increased pleasure was, I couldn't go without more. The Great Can, in all of his greatness, felt my desires. Thin strands of His Goodness covered the head of my cock. "Ask and you shall receive my child" his magnificence purred. "Tell me, Gerald, do you desire more from this?" His question echoed through my body. The gravity of such a quandary was incredible, but i gave my response immediately, my body knew what it wanted. "Yes master, give me more!"

The Great Can grinned in pride. The small strands of noodles covering the tip of my dick ceased their movements for a second, then dove down my cockhole. I screamed from the sensation, i have never felt something so painful, yet so pleasuring. In and out the strands of pasta went, simulating the inside of my erection in ways i could have never thought possible before today. The chef's spaghetti continued to stroke the outside and inside of my rod, while continuing to pound my ass. "This is heaven" I thought to myself.

For five hours we continued our session of love, not stopping for even a moment. All good things, however, must come to an end, else the pleasure becomes nothing at all. The Grand Master of Pasta lifted me out of his body. When my legs touched the floor, I nearly collapsed from exhaustion. "Gerald it is time for me to take my leave." i bowed my head in respect and sorrow. A long strand of spaghetti gently lifted by head by the chin. "Worry yourself not, my child for i shall be with you always." With a final wink Chef Boyardee majestically floated down into the floor and disappeared

My life was forever changed that day. I prance around with a gleaming smile on my face, spreading the good news of His Caned Holiness. I told everyone about my newfound passion for His Sauce, but all I've ever gotten were mean glances and the occasional "What the Fuck". This would deter me not, for I and I alone know the truth.i know i would not be the only one forever though, 'twas only a matter of time before the Chef returns. A day I long for most dearly. For the time being all i can do is spread his word and pray to the Saucy One, he who brings great taste wherever he goes.


End file.
